MEDIATION

My mediation training and experience (since 1983) informs my work as a therapist. But in addition to mediation experience being useful in therapy, I also still mediate specific types of disputes, particularly those that call for the insights and emotional awareness of a therapist.

There is an overlap sometimes between therapy and mediation, and on our initial interview I will help you decide which modality is suited for your situation. For instance, both mediation and therapy can involve intense emotions. But mediation is called for where the primary focus is to solve a problem or issue, not to increase the connection or intimacy between the participants, although mediation can also produce enhanced ability to communicate and healing.

Here are some examples of the type of disputes I mediate.

FAMILY CONFLICT

Example 1: Adult siblings argue over the care of an elderly parent. One wants the parent to move out of state with her and her husband, while the other wants the parent to remain living close to him in Santa Barbara. With the help of the mediator, the siblings explore their fears about their aging mother, their past resentments of each other, their individual interests, and fears about their aging parent. The mediator helps them focus on the need of the elderly parent, which helps the siblings reach an agreement.

Example 2: Adult siblings have inherited the family flower farm. Never having worked on the farm, the siblings arrange to meet with the mediator to figure out how they can work together to keep the farm running to provide income for their aging mother.

Example 3: A beneficiary of a trust believes that the trustee for her mother who has dementia is not providing the best care possible. The trustee and all beneficiaries meet and work out a plan for mother’s care.

WORKPLACE DISPUTES

Example 1: Two managers in the workplace have almost come to blows over their daily interactions. Their boss, the CEO of the company, calls in the mediator to help these two managers work together for the sake of the company productivity.

Example 2: The owners of a family business have run into financial difficulties because a customer has broken a major contract for product. This year there will be no bonuses for the managers across the company, even for the managers in another sector of the business. The mediator meets with the managers and owners to work out a settlement.

MEDIATION PROCESS

After initial intake and prior to the joint session, I call each individual to explore the scope of the conflict from his or her perspective. Then I arrange for a joint meeting, either in person or over Zoom, to resolve the conflict. During that joint meeting, there can also be individual time with the mediator. At the conclusion, I draft an agreement that can be the basis of a legal agreement (drafted by an attorney).